One Year ago, and one year later....

I can't believe a year has passed since that day. The one day I thought my world was going to end. One year later, things are... so very different.

I'm the happiest I've ever been!

How truly intriguing it is that a person could change so much in one year! I can't give myself all the credit though. It has taken the pain of many losses, the excitement of new friendship, the blossoming of a new relationship, and ever changing life.

It has taken me so long to finally realize, but horrible terrible things, as awful as they may be, make the small happy things in life so important. It's necessary: the pain, the tears, the struggle, the fears. At the end of the road, there is a beautiful rainbow, and I cant believe I've gotten here. Sure, it's still raining, but it's absolutely brilliant, the most beautiful thing in the world.

I want to thank Charles, for giving me someone to believe in. For giving me a chance to share my pain and loneliness with another person and to have them understand. To find friendship in one-another and confide together, though we've never met face-to-face. You have become one of the best friends I have ever had. Although I still don't know everything about you Charles, I feel like we are close friends. It might be one-sided, but I look forward to meeting you and being your Anime contention tour-guide!

I'd also like to thank Lee. She's my home away from home. My adopted sister. You're like a real sister to me, we might fight or disagree sometimes, but we love each other for who we are. Sis, I love spending time with you. You're one of the few reasons I still feel the desire to come home to my hometown. I like having fun with you and feeling like I am part of a family. I wish we could spend more time together, but hopefully now that I have a car I can come visit more!

I want to thank the ladies in the HR office. You are all amazing women. You make me feel so loved and appreciated. I might go to work and joke about the money going straight to my student loans, but truthfully I love going into work because it is such a wonderful place to be. You're like my moms away from home! I wish I could really tell you how much you truly inspire me and make me want to do wonderful things in the world.

To all my friends at school, I love you. Freshman year was really hard for me because I was afraid and homesick. Sophomore year I began to branch out and that's when I met most of you. This year, I am happy that there are some of you I have grown even closer to, while others have been away studying in other countries (you lucky ducks!).   

                    Deijee, I'm happy we've had more time to hang out. I've really enjoyed our trips to the humane society together. I'm glad you don't seem to mind how I'm almost obsessively in love with all the kitties.

                    Katy, I have been happy to eat lunch with you so much! When I've been in hamwil, at least. I know you've missed our friends who've been abroad, but I hope at least I've been a fun temporary fill-in. :3

                    Shannannn, I love that we are compatible forms of weird. We should form our own cat-girl cult at school and just walk around with ears and tails and start a fashion trend. I've had a lot of fun hanging out with you in class and between our classes as well. You make me feel like it's okay to be me, even if that means I do weird things. 

                    Kyoto-buddy,  I wish our class trip to Japan had lasted more than two weeks. I'm glad we survived, I enjoyed it. As well as seeing you very sparsely throughout the semester. Sometimes I wish I could hang out with you more, but then again, I know that you get so busy with music (and your music friends....). 

Last, but not least, there's someone very important I need to thank. He was there for me, for so many things. We found each other when neither was looking. Our worlds just simply collided. Whether it was fate, instinct, "God", coincidence, or something else, I'm glad it happened. You have been the best thing to ever come into my life. 

I have you to thank, for introducing me to people who act like reasonable human beings, people that you call friends. 

I have you to thank, for giving me the motivation to get my drivers license, despite the fact that driving is still scary.
I have you to thank, for encouraging me to seek help for my depression. Now I am able to live a normal life.

I have you to thank, for showing me that I am a person worth loving and not just worthless garbage. 

I have you to thank, for accepting me for me.

I love you, and I look forward to the day when we are old and grey, sitting on the couch together, while we still giggle at each other.

Excitement for winter break 2012!

I am so excited for winter break ^_^

I will be spending a majority of the break at my boyfriend's house. Enjoying the festivities with him and his roommates. I will hopefully have a decent winter job by then, so I can help

There are so many things I am looking forward to doing! OwO

1. Being a pseudo-housewife

I am so excited that I will be staying over there. I will have so much time to get that four-man hut (disaster) into a respectable living area! I'm going to wash the floors until they sparkle, get the kitchen cleaned up, organize the refrigerator, make lunches for my honey, and most importantly: welcome him home after a long hard day of work!

2. Making disgustingly-adorable lunches

Uwaa~ I want to make him yummy boxed lunches! I will cook him eggs and such for breakfast. And I would love to prepare bento-boxes full of rice balls, hotdog octopi, adorable veggies, and other yummies! And it would be made complete with a little note included inside, wishing him a good day at work. <3

Oh goodness.... my maternal genes must be really kicking into overdrive... I want munchkins to make them little boxed lunches!!! >w<

3. Skyrim

... need I say more?

4. The girls

I'll get to see my little girls every day <3 I love my mice so much. I'm glad my mister loves them just as much as I do!

Now I'm going to go dig through my grocery bag to find some food to eat <3

Desperate times call for desperate measures

I need a feline in my life.

Living in the dorms is nice and all, especially since a good chunk of it is covered by scholarship, but still, I can't help but feel trapped and my wallet feels like it's withering away. Ever since the school's announcement last year that now ALL students are required to live on campus, I have been miserable. I dream of the day when I can live in housing that allows cats.

There are a few exceptions to the housing rule, however:
- Students over 23 years olf
- Students with family living near campus
- Students who have dependents
- Students who are married
- Students with physical or phsychological issues not able to be assisted by university housing.

Hence, I am now plotting my way towards cat ownership.

STEP ONE: There is one viable option of living on campus that allows cats and dogs... It's basically the school's ONE option that is similar to apartment living. However, to apply one must go through a separate application and interview process. I'd also need to find a roommate ahead of time in order to apply.

STEP TWO: I could ask my school's doctor to sign a note saying my mental state is unstable without having a furry friend, and therefore I must be allowed to have one as a roommate or be permitted off-campus.

STEP THREE: I could get pregnant or adopt a child from Nigeria.

STEP FOUR: I could ask my significant other to marry me, at least for living purposes.

STEP FIVE: I could drive my car into a building, physically handicapping myself, to the extent that I would not be able to use dormitory stairs.

STEP SIX: I could ask a townie to pretend to be my relative.

This is actually kind of fun! But as I well know, I will be doing no such crazy thing. Let's just start with the simplest method and see how it goes?

Halloween Party

So as the officially unofficial co-PR of anime club, I had willingly agreed to head the committee to plan the anime club halloween party. Last year's was a complete failure, but the year before it was more like a nice simple gathering. This year's party took place last night.

I hate to toot my own horn, but this year's party was a hit!

I was so happy. I've been so stressed this past week, I've been having nightmares and I missed all my classes yesterday because I felt so emotionally and physically out of whack. Somehow though... SOMEHOW, even though we ended up not having any sort of budget for the party, somehow everything fell into place! The Prez and I bought food from the campus convenience store, I ran out to walmart and bought some glowsticks for the dance party, and my other co-PR officer brought the anime for the viewing room.

There was a cool rave/dance with anime music. The costume contest went well, as the glowsticks were given out as prizes. There was also a pool table down there where I learned how to play "Purple Rain" on the pool table (and subsequently earned the bruise still throbbing on my right thigh).

And I was so happy... I got serenaded by the prez with the "Dammit Janet, I love you" song in front of everyone, as thanks for making the party happen.(Mr. Beardly came to the party too... and he thought it was cute, but he was also prepared to kick his ass if he tried to do anything funny like kiss me.) I was sad though, nobody said "Dammit Janet, you're a slut!" like they do in the Rocky theater showings.

Uwah, I actually did something right for once!!! This is very encouraging. :)

Afterwards, this poor kitten PTFO'd in bed. A day well done. ^_^

21 years of Janet the Planet

Dear friends, family, and internet anons,

This past Saturday was my 21st birthday. I am now almost an official adult [although it will be 4 more years until I can legally rent a car.]

Friday evening I was able to celebrate for free since my campus had a free event at my dorm. My friend Katy and I met up for dinner, then we played some of the board games that were scattered about. I ran into one of my Pokemon friends who helped me find an Eevee in the game (and actually, I ended up hanging out with two more of my Pokemon friends XD). At 11 they even had a rave/dance going on with FREE GLOWY NECKLACES! I put one on my head and one hanging down from my belt-loop as a tail. =^_^= Needless to say, I was a happy kitty!

They also played Gangnam Style. I was ecstatic.

And the whole evening was spent alcohol-free. XD

I did, however, buy myself a nice bottle of wine the day after, on my birthday. My significant other and I had a fun evening hanging out with his roommate and his girlfriend, watching videos on youtube and playing games. I somehow managed to scarf down an entire half a large pizza in under 10 minutes.

Sunday marked the 8 month mark for me and my handsome man. We went to his friend's wedding. It was a very lovely little ceremony! The food was delicious, the bride was beautiful, the people were kind, and there were even some nerds there like us! There was also an open bar. I embarrassed myself with my lack of alcohol knowledge, so I just ordered a Shirley Temple and got a beer for my Mr. Beardly. Sadly, I was not even carded for his beer. ;_;

It's funny, even though I'm now legally allowed to drink, I really don't care to. Sure, I enjoy a nice glass of wine at fancy meals, or a can of Mike's Hard on a day off, but I don't see the fun in heavy drinking. Plus, with my anti-depressant, even just a few sips put me straight to sleep.

In general, life seems to be getting better every day. I mean, I became happily content quite soon after I realized that I needed to just live my life and not worry about things outside of my control. It's just the right amount of happiness, with just enough interruptions to remind me to be thankful for all the wonderful people I have in my life. It's thanks to my support team, from old friends I hear from once or twice a year, to my family, and especially the man who loves me for who I am, every little part!

This little girl is growing up!

Ah, goodbye my childhood. In only a few days I will officially be an adult, at the ripe old age of 21.

I still wont be able to rent a car, but I will have most liberties available to me.

For my 21st birthday, I'm treating myself to a few things. I'm getting a much-needed haircut soon, I will hopefully go out to Akai-Hana for lunch with my boyfriend, and... eh, working on some adulty stuff. And by adulty stuff, I mean I made my first ever resume and I'm putting in seasonal job applications down around the school area. The only person I've personally informed of this (so far) is my supervisor at school, bless her heart, she's a clever one.

I really hope to get the job working at the Columbus zoo as a cashier. It would be an absolutely amazing job, I wouldn't even mind working full time over holidays! 

My S.O. is really excited about my enthusiasm too. I love to see him looking happy.

Speaking of my handsome Mister, as an early birthday present, he bought me Pokemon White 2. =^_^= So far, it's really fun! I cant wait until I can catch some wild eevee and form my epic Eeveelution team! Hehehe!

Gah, I need to call my adopted sister. I hope she isn't mad at me: I've tried calling her with no calls back, but then again I have been a tad busy with classes and such. Lee, if you read this, give me a call sistah! Jar really does think about you and miss you, even though you have some unrealistic idea that she doesn't think about you at all while she's at school!!!

And now I'm off to take my roommate and our friend to the best store ever: Goodwill. <3

10 Positives to Being Sick

As I have been laying around in bed for the past three days, it's given me a lot of time to contemplate things. I'm so thankful for this little break from reality. Being sick has actually been a pretty decent experience! Sadly, my cold is coming to an end, as I've hit the "nose faucet/sneezemachine" phase. My sinuses are draining like mad, and with it the pain and pressure are making an exit.

10 Plus-sides to having a cold

1. Now there's finally time to read that book that's been gathering dust upon the shelf.

2. It's a valid excuse to take a day off from work and/or school.

3. It helps train your body to fight back against even stronger microbes.

4. It's a valid excuse to avoid unwanted human contact/conversation.

5. You can sleep in bed all day.

6. Now there's finally a use for that unused box of tissues.

7. You might lose a little weight from all the energy your body is using to kill the microbes.

8. You regain an appreciation for tea.

9. If you're lucky, a significant other may surprise you with some soup and TLC.

10. If anyone pisses you off, you are now in the possession of a potential bio-warfare device.

Now I'm off to attempt reading "50 Shades of Grey." I have only read through the first paragraph and I can already tell the writing is absolutely awful. I want to gouge my eyes out. But I must persevere! がんばる！

By Popular Demand: Let me tell you about my life as a SEX SLAVE that enjoys giving blowjobs and gangbangs in my free time

If I had free time, apparently this is what I'd be doing.

Trololol!

In reality:

I only WISH my life were as interesting as Chelsea Handler's. Her books are amazing. "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" was one of the best books I've ever read.

I'm currently reading "My Horizontal Life", which is her collection of one-night stands. This girl is hilarious! I cant go more than 10 pages without laughing out loud! She's an alcoholic, a sex-addict, and a pothead, yet it's sooooo funny because her personality is amazing! (Okay, and she has an unhealthy love for midgets.) One plus side to being sick is that I finally have some time to read again, and this is really a nice treat! ^_^

I like to imagine that I live vicariously through her.

Update: Just finished "My Horizontal Life," which ends with her giving up on her wild crazy excapades and actually considering forming more serious relationships. I didn't see that one coming! But I guess it is a book and books generally have some sort of conclusion, don't they? Well, now I guess I should move on to my next book: Catalyst, which is a Sci-Fi book about cats in space. Yeah, my taste in books is pretty diverse.....

Life, Love, and Future Possibilities

So much has changed in one year.

Yet still, there  is so much more that is soon to happen.


I have been dating my significant other, whom I've deemed as "Mr.Beardly" on my blogger, for the past seven months. Every day has only brought us closer together. I absolutely adore him! He's not perfect, but the time we have spent together makes me wonder why it seems other couples have so many fights and arguments. Why it seems some couples verbally abuse one another, or simply don't appear to appreciate the other's value.

Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking very seriously about my relationship. Everything seems so.... perfect. Every day I fall more in love with him. I am a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I've been thinking how happy I would be if I could be his wife. I tried to keep these feelings to myself as to not scare him off.

Shockingly, over this weekend... he has admitted to wanting to marry me someday.

I may be young, but I am not foolish, and neither is he. He's clearly stated that nothing will even be considered until after I have graduated and we have lived together for about a year or so. After all, knowing you can live under the same roof as someone and still enjoy their company is an important aspect of that kind of commitment.

But just to hear that someone wants to make that sort of commitment to me.... not just anyone, but the man I absolutely adore.... I'm so happy. I'm so happy, I don't know if I can ever complain about anything ever again. Today I've spent the entire day resting in bed after getting some sort of throat illness, but I can't complain: I have someone wonderful who loves me, who would be willing to spend the rest of his life with me. What did I ever do to deserve someone so wonderful as him?

Even if our relationship suddenly ends, I will still be happy that I was able to know him. I have changed so much because of him. He's taught me how to truly love another person, and how to allow myself to be loved.

If it wasn't for him, I dont know that I would have had the motivation to buy a car and get my drivers license. I'm no longer not only not afraid of the road, but I actually enjoy the drive to go see him.

Yesterday (Sunday) we spent the day together volunteering for the humane society. I had no idea what I was doing, they just told me to take a dog and the paperwork to a place and the people there would tell me what to do. I got there and the person in charge had no idea what was going on, but they let us walk the dog around. We ended up setting up the chairs and blanket at the farmers market. It was a lot of fun. The dog was such a sweetheart, and so many people came up to pet her and talk to us. It was a great experience. I think it was good for Mr.Beardly too. He loves dogs and he's seemed pretty depressed about not having a pet. It was so wonderful to see his face brimming with happiness while we were parading the dog around. It would be so awesome if someday I could see his face like that as we walked our own pets around, holding hands like a cheesy old couple.

I love him.

First Day of Junior Year

Today has been exceptionally awesome! I'm so happy to be back at school.

I made friends with a freshman before my first class even began! I was texting and didn't notice that the light had changed until the girl next to me said "It's green." We had some more awkward conversation. Then we swapped names. Realized we were going to the same building. She likes pokemon and still plays, and she likes anime too. :D I'm so happy I have adopted a freshman already! This year my goal was to take a few under my wing and make new pets... er, friends.

My classes are Learning (a psych class), Quantitative Methods (psychology statistics class), Advanced Japanese, Chinese and Japanese Religions, and Ballroom dance.

I'm living in a double in the newly renovated dorm. My roommate is awesome. We have our OWN bathroom. I have a car on campus. I still have my wonderful job in the student employment office.

Life is good. :)

Happy Kitten visits her beloved!

Kitten is a happy kitten! ♥

I drove down to see my beloved Mr.Beardly for the weekend. I wasn't able to surprise him as I had hoped, but we were both so grotesquely happy to see each other.

Driving on the highway by myself for 2 hours for the first time: TERRIFYING!

I persevered, and the prize: my handsome prince waiting for me in his castle.

♥

 

We did the normal boring shit that any two dorks hopelessly in love with each other would do.

We went out for all different kinds of food:

indian, chinese, hamburgers, and pizza.

We cuddled and watched TV and movies: 

Archer, Silent Hill, Family Guy.

We hugged, kissed and snuggled,

 of course.

He tried to get me to try smoking hookah, but I chickened out. 

Someday, though, I'll try it.

I liked sitting around the hookah group. It smelled good, and I didn't feel sick being around them at all. Not like cigarette smoke, which makes people smell like butts (...cig pun?). Cigarettes are gross.

I absolutely adore him. 

I admit though, I felt a bit embarrassed when he asked me whether I'd want a priest at my wedding or not. We ask each other random questions like this all the time (usually I ask the weirdest ones). It was a bit embarrassing because I've actually been wondering about my potential dream wedding, since so many of my peers are already (or soon to be) blushing brides! I'd like to get married at home, on the golf range. With doves and all sorts of nature-themed decorations and such. I'd like it to be simple and small. 

Quite honestly, I would be satisfied with just an unromantic court wedding. The purpose of marriage is to make a commitment to the person you love. To care for in sickness and in health, to cherish and love, and all that sappy stuff. So it's the person that makes it special, not the accessories.

But a girl can dream, right?

Driving forward on the road of life

That title pretty much sums up how my life's going. I'm moving forward, making efforts to keep improving myself as I plunge into my independent adulthood.

There's two questions I ask myself every day. 

In the morning, I ask, What are my goals? 
In the evening, I ask, Am I better today than I was yesterday?

My ultimate goal is to change the world (for the better), one person at a time. The first person I'm starting with is me.

Things have been pretty productive. Over just this summer, I have:

• Traveled to Japan.
• Bought a car.
• Got my drivers license.
• Got a credit card.
• Purchased my own cell phone and minutes
• Seen the President of the United States speak IN PERSON!

Even at work, I always do my best to be kind and courteous to customers. Every one I meet has an impact on my life, however great or small it may be. So I try to always impact them in a positive way, with a smile, a laugh, a cheerful joke or conversation, or simply just by making their purchase as effortless as possible.

I have to admit, I'm no christian or saint. Though most of my motivation is for the good of myself and others, there is a small part of me that is motivated out of spite.

I do good deeds to spite those who have hurt me. I want to do everything I can for other people, because I know there are a few people in the world that I have failed to help, who are now possibly beyond help. Because I have failed them and they have failed me, I must keep moving forward to show the world what I am made of, and what I am capable of accomplishing.

And you know what? It's making my life fantastic. This attitude change is the best thing that I've ever done for myself. I am not a punching bag here for people to beat and piss on. I am here to serve those who need an extra little boost. If you want to abuse me, I'll just remove myself from your presense and BAM, problem solved!

Why does it seem like some people intentionally keep themselves in bad situations to get attention? It does not make you seem cool. It does not make you popular. It is a true pity that some people have nothing better to do in life than to proclaim to the world "oh, how I suffer!" and do no such thing to prevent or solve it!

Well, I'm proud to say, that is no longer me. 
No, this is a girl that gets shit done.
This is a girl that has taken life by the reins and is steering it wherever she pleases.
This is a girl that will change the world. 

So stand back, and watch me.  

Or you can join me. 

Take control of your life. Change yourself. Reach out and change the world. Everyone is capable of this amazing power, called love. <3

Driver's Exam Tomorrow

Yup, less than twelve hours from now, I'll be taking my drivers exam. (Don't tell my boyfriend, though.)

I'm super nervous, but I've practiced hard!

The hardest part may be doing my makeup tomorrow morning at 7 am......

This has been an epic week for me.

On wednesday I got to see, live, PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!

It was so exciting! I waited in line on monday for 2 hours to get tickets. I met some awesome people during that time. One person was Susan. She was super cool, around my dad's age I think, and best of all, SHE HAD AWESOME TATTOOS!

Then there was Craig. He was super sweet (and pretty obviously gay). He was the cutest thing ever though. My mom got a bag of cheerios out of her bag to share, and he told her that she was the best mom ever. How can ANYONE hate that? HOW?

Maybe this is why my friends tend to be the ones labeled as "sinners", but really, we act more like Jesus than many of you "christians".

Anyway, the rally was really impressive. A 3 hour wait, butt falling asleep on the uncomfortable metal bleachers.

FINALLY! There he was. Mr.President. IN THE FLESH! Talking to me.
Inspiring me.

I listed to what he said, from a non-partisan view. What he says makes sense. Romney intends to reduce takes for those earning 250,000 or more each year, while increasing taxes on the middle class to cover his tax breaks to the upper class. Um, we're in a recession here. We have a deficit we need to fix. Maybe we can reduce taxes for the wealthy once we're closer to breaking even, but this is the absolute worst time to think about that.

Also, funding family planning services saves BILLIONS in medicaid dollars. Every dollar spent towards family planning is said to save four dollars of medicaid spending.

Also, if gays are allowed to get married, that means more spending on weddings and stuff. I think it'd be a decent economy booster, if not, at least it would be a community-spirit booster.

BRIDGESTONE INVITATIONAL

On Saturday, my father and I went to the Bridgestone Invitational because a customer of ours gave us two tickets. For not being a fan of golf, I have to say, it was pretty cool! We ate free food, drank free drinks, wore free hats. I saw Tiger Woods, in the flesh, hit a golfball. That's not even the best part. 

The best part: Almost getting hit by a golfball, then standing right behind it as PHIL MICKELSON tries to hit it over a tree. HE HIT THE GOLFBALL LESS THAN 5 FEET AWAY FROM ME. I was right behind him as he swung, partially afraid he would smack me in the forehead with his club. Oh dear...

Overall, it was a really intense week. I was happy. I'm still happy. Life is really wonderful! <3

Facebook Foofs (yes, foofs), Driving Disasters, and a Hopeful Heart

I might just quit facebook. I'm tired of being harassed about my views and all the passive agressiveness on there.

If I see an extremely unattractive or possibly x-rated picture of one of my friends, you sure as hell bet that I'll tell them because I care about them. We all have those pictures. People like me have them more often than not, just because I'm extremely non-photogenic. I'm sorry if you'd rather not hear the truth, but I really do care about you and the way you present yourself to the world.

No matter what, I accept all my goofy friends, no matter what. Whether they're transgendered, cross-dressers, gay, republican, religious, country-music lovers, poor, rich, white, black, etc. (And yes, I have at least one friend for each of the above.)

Sorry, it's been a rough day. I'm just a bit sad and shaken up. I made several driving mistakes today, mother got scared and started yelling, and I hit a curb (no apparent physical damage, though.) I am determined to improve, however! Mr.Beardly has been awfully depressed about our situation of not being able to see each other as often as we'd like. I've been sad too, but not quite as much because I've been planning a little surprise for him. <3 And goodness knows, he never reads my blog (No one reads my blog, lol, this shit is boring, man! XD) so I'm not worried about him finding out. However, it's better to be safe than sorry, right?

I was inspired yet again by my cousin Butch. His most recent FB status talked about him losing two friends because they did not agree with his philosophies and they were very negative all the time. I knew what that felt like, so I could sympathize with him. His philosophies have been part of the reason I am enjoying life so much today! I must give credit to myself, though, too. Had I not come to my own conclusions based on the experiences within my own life, his words would have fallen on deaf ears and a stone heart. Thankfully, I've never let myself become completely shut off and now it feels so wonderful to just be open and loving and to not live in fear of being hurt anymore. Every day is another chance to share a smile, cheer a friend, help a random stranger, so many things! Even bad experiences, they teach you so much! Once again I feel so thankful that my life has been filled with so many "bad experiences". To me, they have all been an opportunity to grow! I haven't risen successfully from all of them, but I am doing my best now, and things are looking pretty good. :)

Have a wonderful day everyone/anyone! Please remember, keep your chin up, and keep an open mind and heart! Carpe Diem <3

Good Deeds witnessed! :3

Today, I happily experienced (and witnessed) many good deeds being done, for the sake of another person. For anyone that needs a booster (or proof that there are good people in the universe) please read! ^_^

~~~ First, I'd like to thank miss Tanis. She's an employee at Walmart. I was looking at all the phones and plans and she was SO KIND and INFORMATIVE! She knew what she was talking about! And today, after I ordered a phone from walmart.com, I called up the store to see if I could get the additional warranty added, and guess who answered: MISS TANIS! She was so helpful, she even remembered me. ^_^ So, thank you miss Tanis, for making my Walmart shopping experience ever so pleasant!

~~~ Next up! Today at the farm market, one woman was short 50 cents for her purchase. After realizing this, she was about to simply put back one of her items. The lady checking out next to her set 50 cents down in front of her and said not to worry about it, then she walked off with her own groceries. Thank you, anonymous stranger, for your kind deed. ^_^ It has not gone unnoticed!


~~~ Miss Amy Kaple! My finantial-aid packager. Today she gave me a call back, and I was able to get my work-study back AND reduce my loan! Thank you Amy, for helping me to sort out my finantial aid package and keep my wonderful job at school!

~~~ The guy in the dunk tank at the Aero's game last night. He was such a good sport. He played it up for the kids, plugging his nose and making faces. There was one kid who threw the ball and missed; then the dunk-tank guy told the kid's friends to cheer him on. The friend started jumping up and down, shouting "C'MON, YOU CAN DO IIITTT!!!". Holy cow, the next ball hit smack in the middle, and SPLASH went dunk-tank dude. He then told the kids, "See, that's the power of positivity." *HIGH FIVE MR!* That guy's got the right attitude!

~~~ And last, I'd just like to mention how AWESOME it felt to donate 5 bags of old clothing to Goodwill the other day. I never wore that stuff anyway, and now some (non-high-brow) family can buy and wear my clothing, since I took really good care of it! Afterwards, I bought three new dresses and a pair of shoes (from another thrift store). Sharing is caring! :3 I love thrift store clothing. I'm not picky, I just like something that covers my goodies and feels comfortable. Who needs a $300 dress when a $2 one will work just as well?

* Witnessed any good deeds? Done any good deeds yourself? Please post in the comments below~ Together, we can spread goodness and positive vibes! =^_^= *

Story of a girl + my life update

Let me tell you the story of a girl. Please read the entire story before you read the information at the bottom of the page. This girl might just change the way you view other people. This is a story of someone I know.


She was about sixteen years old when she began to date a seemingly nice fellow a few years older. After a little over half a year together, something happened. She became pregnant. She was barely seventeen, and still in highschool. She married the father, of course, just before the baby was born. A baby girl was born, beautiful as could be. The young couple depended greatly on the girl's parents for financial and emotional support, since neither the boy nor the girl was ready to be a parent. The young man did his best to support his family. However, he became facinated and obsessed with the occult. He got a large religious symbol tattoo'd onto his chest. The girl is still not yet 20 years old, and now the young couple is getting divorced. Their poor baby child will likely suffer the repercussions of their poor decision making. 

Now, this seems like a sad story, right? It is. It's really tragic for the poor child. It's unfortunate for the young couple too. So young, and now each of them is carrying so much baggage. Maybe she's from a poor family? Maybe she's a minority race? Maybe she's one of those "filthy" liberals?

Please highlight the next paragraph to see the truth.
Fact: The young girl is a white, die-hard christian and conservative republican. She absolutely hates homosexuals and muslims. She believes that Obama is the antichrist. She has said several hateful statements over her facebook. She is completely against abortion and birth control. She is from a wealthy family and believes all poor people are lazy. She judges pretty much anyone whom is different from her (or anyone who tries to cure her ignorance).

Still feel sorry for her? Well, actually, I do. I feel sorry that she's filled with so much hate.

All I am saying, is that we shouldn't judge others without owning up to our faults and poor decisions. I'm not perfect either, in fact, I'm far from it. I've lied, I've tried alcohol, I'm currently sleeping in a car, I sometimes blow off friends because I'm feeling antisocial, and so much more. I think, what causes hate might be when people hold themselves to different standards than others. This girl would be friend material to me if only she wasn't filled with such hatred and hypocrisy.  You can mess up your life as much as you want, but don't go preaching about your "good values". Good values are only worth something if you show them in your actions and choices in life.

I will NEVER tolerate ignorant hatred.

I want a baby so much, but seeing all these train-wrecks prevents me from doing something foolish. I will wait until my life is all goddamn set for me to have a baby. I'm going to do everything I can for my child, even before I end up pregnant. I believe abortion should be available for ALL WOMEN, even if I myself wouldn't terminate my little parasite. I want to raise a child very much, but I am well aware that I am not ready, even at the age of 20! This is not just for me. This is for my future family.

So let's all focus on solving the problems in our own lives, instead of being mean to other people.

SO! Let me tell you how I've been working on my life's issues:

My diet has been going well! I've kept pretty strict on it, and I never realized how little I really need to eat in order to feel full. Work has been going well too! I love the days where my boss makes me do a lot of work, instead of just standing behind the counter all day. It's only after I've sweat my ass off that I really feel like I've done a good job. I feel happy whenever the customers talk to me like a real person :D It's helped me to become kinder in the way I treat other customer service helpers.

Good news! I should be switching to a new cell phone and company soon. Probably just Straight Talk. That will be one less thing my mom has to worry about. Sprint's prices have just gotten ridiculous!

I only have two more years of college left! Yippee! I will probably try to get a Masters degree in something if I can afford it, but for now I'll just start looking for some good full-time jobs after graduation.

Poor Mr. Beardly has been stressed out about his car. I'm hoping it doesn't affect our relationship too bad. I've been doing what I can for him. I told him I'd pay for his new engine, but he wouldn't take my offer. That guy is such a sweetheart. I'm looking forward to seeing how long I can stay by his side <3 It's funny, even if our relationship doesn't work out... I will still always cherish the time we've spent together. He's been one of the best things to ever happen to me. He is such a sweetheart. He really deserves the best. And he has helped me to grow so much!

Hell, I'm driving in my car with my dad as a teacher. All for some guy! I must be nuts.

No, I think... I think they call it "love".

Be bold, be bold, little star.

I feel quite satisfied today. I've finally decided that I won't be afraid of anything anymore. I am not going to allow myself to let silly things prevent me from achieving my best!

Today, I donated $3 to the Obama campaign. Yes, I am soooo desperate to attend his birthday party! I want to wear my Raichu cosplay and give the president a pokemon glomp ^_^ Boy, that would totally make my life worthwhile! It might sound like I'm kidding... but... you'd be surprised. :P

So I've been sleeping in a car for just about a month now. It's been a little hotter than normal this summer, but so far it's only been miserable for 2 or 3 nights. It's really not as bad as it seems. Most of the time I fall asleep like a baby. It's so nice to wake up to fresh air! Plus, rent is FREE!!!

My boss gave me one of her leftover stuffed peppers that she cooked last night. I have been craving stuffed peppers so bad! I'm so excited to try it tonight! I'm sure it will be super yummy. 

In other news, I now have this lovely little sign to hang in my dorm room.

A pinch of positivity :)

My total body-mind-spirit cleanse is working fantastically!!!

I remember a few conversations I’ve had with my Cousin Butch. I’ll never be able to remember everything he’s told me, but he’s a really wise man. He once told me that everything starts from the inside out. And I’ve found out that it’s absolutely true!

A pinch of positivity goes a long way!

I’ve never realized before how much I really love working at the greenhouse and farm market! Every customer that I speak with just makes my day so much brighter! I’m so happy that I can’t help but smile and chat with them to make their shopping experience as enjoyable as possible.

Even working full shifts the past two days, in this 100 degree weather (not exaggerating), has been really fun! I love all the girls I work with, they are fantastic! Sure, I’m sweating myself to death, but it makes each little breeze feel like heaven. I’m really learning that the small pleasures in life, are actually the most important. :)

The sweat and screaming muscles also reminds me that I’m losing toxins and weight! I can feel my abs on my tummy if I poke really hard, but about an inch of insulating fat remains. Maybe I should just stay the way I am, I’ll probably freeze if I lose any more body fat. Dear body, thank you for all your hard work! I will never call you fat or ugly or stupid ever again.

Also, working helps me earn more money for my family and my car. Lilly still needs some work, but hopefully soon I’ll be getting her on the road and getting my license so I can take her down to school with me. The more mobile I am, the more people I can serve! I will finally be able to volunteer at the humane society more often.

I can’t believe how big of a difference just having a pinch of positivity makes on my life. Absolutely nothing is physically different, but I feel a million times happier on a day-to-day basis. And now all I want to do is spread the love and hopefully infect the people and customers I see every day. :) And it’s also thanks to my role models, I’ll be posting about them soon!

Even all the comments and messages I once interpreted as being hurtful and bitter, I was just being stupid and my mind was cloudy! I see now that my friend wanted exactly the same thing I want now: to be the best that I can be, and to keep on working to make myself into a better person and the world a better place! :) 

I’m doing my best. Life isn’t perfect, nor will it ever be, but with a pinch of positivity, almost anything is possible!!! :) And I'm trying to work hard to infect others with this amazing happy-bug I've got going on! 

Side-effects are listed below:

- Excessive smiling

- Occasional giggles

- Warm, fuzzy feeling in chest cavity

- Potential desire to hug others

- In rare cases, kittens may spontaneously appear. If this occurs, please call your local animal shelter.

Critter Tales! Killdeer, Gimpy the Robin, and Barn Swallows!

And now it's time for the critter corner! :) Adorable little stories and lessons about my backyard's wilderness. Today I'm going to focus on the amazing birds of my backyard.

Killdeer

I'd like to start by saying a Killdeer is neither violent, nor a deer. It's a bird. It gets it's name from the shrill cry it makes. This link is absolutely amazing for information about Killdeer: Kildeer, Idenfitication, All About Birds.

Pictured below is an adult. Killdeer are also known for their clever way of protesting their young. A parent will squawk and flap it's wings like shown below, pretending to be injured. This is intended to lead a potential predator away from the nest and towards the parent who is perfectly capable of escaping danger.

They like to make nests in what I call our "dump", where my father used to have dirt dumped. Now it's just a dry, weedy plane of...well.... dirt. Here's what a nest looks like:

After a few weeks, my dad and I were starting to think the eggs were not fertile and thus were never going to hatch. Before I drifted off to sleep, my hand drifted to my lower abdomen and I said a little prayer of fertility for them, thinking on my own hopes to someday be able to have a child. The next morning, look at what I found in the nest:

 

Look at the one that just hatched! The runt of the egg clutch is still damp!!! How precious! The other one must have hatched earlier. Another baby was only a few feet from the nest. The fourth baby was already up and running around. Look at the little adventurer. :)

Seeing them left such a warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart. I couldn't help but pet one of the fluffy ones before I said goodbye. X3 On the day that they hatched, I had many more awesome animal encounters.

Captain Falcon / Gimpy

This is one of those "inspirational" animals. I've seen this little bird hopping around my backyard. He's a young robin. It seems he doesn't have any parents looking out for him, teaching him how to catch worms and whatnot. What's more, his wing appears to be broken. He can't fly at all. It's been over a week now since he showed up. But every day, I wake up to see him hopping around happily outside. That kid's a fighter. No matter an orphan, no matter a gimp, he's getting along just as fine as any other robin. So he can't fly, he's not letting that get him down. So I renamed him Captain Falcon. He's got the spirit of a falcon, that's how he's surviving and thriving. I hope I can be stronger like you, Captain Falcon. You inspire me.

The Barn Swallows

I love the barn swallows that show up every summer. Barn Swallow, Identification, All About Birds.These guys look like they have so much fun flying in the sky, swooping and diving. Their call is also quite unique. Sounding more like chitters and mechannical sounds.

Pictured to the right are two juvenile barn swallows. The parents have been flying in and out of our garage for over the past month. Originally they had four little babies up in a nest in the (falling-apart) insulation on the ceiling. Not too long after they hatched, the poor babies fell out onto the hood of our car!!! It's happened in the past though, and sadly one year my father didn't know in time and all the babies died.

We took care of them though. My dad put them into a box with a towel and set it up high so the cat couldn't get to it. I didn't think it would work, but sure enough, the parents kept caring for the babies and one day they flew out and two sat on the wire up in the garage, where I took this picture. A week or so later, it seems as though the parents are building a new nest!

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All three of these birds fill me with such a sense of wonder and amazement at the living things in this world! Especially the determination to survive and protect their young. Maybe, just maybe, we humans could learn a little something from them. 

I've got plenty more happy Critter Tales coming soon! Next time look forward to: Golden Retrievers, my cat Rikki, and more. :)

Haha, watch me get sarcastic with Amazon!

So, being a little frustrated about my amazon book trade-in being rejected because the binding was damaged from them to begin with, I wrote a response. I got a little sarcastic at the end because I'm a goofball like that. I hope the person reading my response gets some entertainment out of it, and not offense, because the ending was added more for comedic value. Hey, at least this time I'm not pretending to be a girl named Bill. XD

"I am very disappointed. I ordered this book back in January of 2012 NEW. The book came with the top coner was very slightly dinged and I was disappointed but didn't think Amazon would replace the book for something as insignificant as that.

However, when attempting to trade the book back recently (June 2012) it was rejected because the binding was damaged. I took very good care of that book, it looks exactly the way it did when I purchased it. The pages are all in pristine condition. There was nothing I could do about the binding, it came that way.
I have always been a happy amazon customer, but now I'm going to think twice about where I purchase my BRAND NEW TEXT BOOKS and other items. Now I'm starting to wonder if I was intentionally sold a damaged book for full price. I will know better next time.

I will return all my new textbooks if there is even a slight dent on it. I hope you enjoy all my returns, except that I probably wont be buying any new textbooks from your website. I just enjoyed the convenience of buying everything on amazon, however I am aware there are other alternatives out there.

I apologize, it is partially my fault for not making a bigger issue of it when I purchased the book. But my recommendation is to please not send any damaged goods out to customers. The way the book was dinged, it was a factory damage. There is no way that misformation could have resulted from shipping. The book was securely packaged and protected.

Please take my message and channel my mishap towards better customer service and products. Like I said, I have always liked Amazon, but I am also a poor college student who has to sell back old textbooks before she can afford new ones, or else she will have to skip a few meals. I could very well try to eat the book, but I'm sure it doesn't have any sort of nutrients."

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UPDATE!!!

Holy cow! Less than an hour after I sent that, I get an apology email from Amazon and they refunded my entire book price!!! Wowies!

I underestimated their customer service. Maybe they thought I was being harsher than I intended? :(

But, I feel good. I'm going to send them a happy message now. This is really a shocker. The only other good customer service I've ever experienced was from Thinkgeek.com. My light-up heart shirt had stopped working after wearing it twice, and I sent them a nice (no really, I was really friendly and asking if I could just order a replacement part since it was too late to replace). The Thinkgeek customer service people sent me a brand new one for free! And didn't even need the old one back. So now I have my defective shirt and a nice shirt. Of course, my T-shirt no longer has a companion to "light 'im up". Maybe I need to give one to Mr. Beardly?

Diet

It's time for this girl to go on a diet.

Now, before the moans and groans begin, let me clarify. I am not doing this for attention. I'm not one of those skinny girls that thinks she needs to be even skinnier.

This is for medical reasons. I've recently discovered that not one, but both of my parents are borderline diabetic. Neither has been put on medication yet, but they have both been told by their doctors to drastically alter their diet. Since I'm a die-hard sweet-tooth, maybe I should get started early.

Here's my problem... I absolutely love natural sweets, like fruits, and especially peaches. I also enjoy my gigantic "Polar Pop" cups of mountain dew that I get at work. The other problem I have? I cant eat many artificial sweeteners. I'm sensitive to aspertame (it burns my throat), and I find that most artificial sweeteners taste more disgusting than sweet. What's a sugarholic to do?

Another thing to work on is my excessive eating in general. Ever since I got sick in Japan and lost 10 pounds from a single day of vomiting, I think my brain has been kicked into "gain back the weight" overdrive. I now notice a little uncomfortable jiggle in my step. I'm also tired a lot. I feel like a change in diet might be just the thing my body needs.

New on the "to eat more" list: vegetables, low-sugar yogurt, limited fruit, whole-grains, water, lean protein, fish, etc.

Now on the "to eat less of" list: pop, sugar, excessive candy, fast foods, pizza, hot dogs, ice cream, chinese food, etc.

Eventually I'll need to figure in an exercise routine too.

If anyone has any other common-sense suggestions to give, I'd love to hear them! I want to feel healthy from the inside out! I don't need to be a stick, but I'd like to feel comfortable in my own skin. :)

My car, the elegant Lilligant (or Lilly, because not everyone plays pokemon)

I've been spending quite some time brainstorming for my new blog. Because it will contain sensitive information, it's going to be kept completely anonymous. And of course, being a Libra, I'm having so much trouble coming up with a username, blog title, and even which blog website to use!!!

Goodness!

In other news, I've been getting quite a bit done around the range. I finally got my little car back, and so I'm working on getting her all cleaned up. She still needs her transmission looked at, as well as having a grille put on. I gave her a bath yesterday. I still need to clean through her interior a few more times to make it not so gross, and to clean the exterior with wax to get all the dead bugs and scratches off. My dad thinks that girl never once cleaned her car. I think it's possible, but that's just what cars do: get dirty.

Here's a picture of my little Lilly.

Happy Happenings and Tubular Turbulence

Once again, you know when I'm not constantly posting, it means my life is filled with happenings and even a little turbulence! I'll start with the exciting happenings, rather than chronological order.

First, I am proud to say: Last Saturday, I officially purchased my first car ever! She's a lovely little 1999 metallic green Beetle! She's got a few bumps and bruises, and her interior was horridly filthy when purchased. But, I gave her a good internal scrubbing. Even with a toothbrush! She's smelling better now. It was dropped off at the mechanic's place only yesterday, but I miss her already!

I finally decided on a name. "Lilligant", and I'll call her "Lily" for short. (C'mon, you should have known by now that I'm a huge Pokemon nerd.) Among all the things I bought in Japan, one of them is a Lilligant cellphone charm. I'm going to attach that to my key, so it can dangle while I drive in a car named after her likeness! ^_^

Last sunday was a big cookout with some friends and family. I was a little nervous because this would be the first time Mr.Beardly met a large portion of my family. Poor guy was exhausted from barely sleeping the night before (explanation will be given later in this post). He fell asleep in the hammock after only a few minutes. It was good to see some friends and family, it really cheered me up. Later that evening, my friends and my little cousins had a huge water balloon fight. It was so much fun! I think Mr.Beardly enjoyed himself too! And my favorite cousin (little miss 8-year old who acts as mature as a full grown adult but is as cute as a button!!!) warmed up to him immediately. I was so relieved. She was devastated after my breakup back in the fall, she loved my ex-boyfriend like a big-brother. I take this as a good sign that Mr.Beardly is accepted by one of my most intuitive family members.

It felt good to return to work after my mini-vacation. I missed the greenhouse. I missed the hard-work, I missed the customers, I missed the flowers. I even missed the feeling of burning muscles, dirty hands, and sweat running down my face.

All of these experiences helped me to recover from a traumatic incident. I feel like I had a revelation today. Where I used to feel like my life was one big black cloud of doom, with periodic bursts of light, I feel the complete opposite now. I've also realized that the two most terrible things to happen to me recently have been blessings in disguise! If my ex-boyfriend hadn't destroyed me like that, I never would have had the courage to meet Mr. Beardly. If my friends hadn't completely destroyed my heart about a week ago, I never would have known how well Mr. Beardly could take care of me and handle emergency situations. It really helped us to grow much closer.

But anyways, the reason he was so tired was because we spent the night sleeping in his car in a walmart parking lot. My friend had told us we could stay at her house for the days he was here. I was so thankful and happy I tried doing everything I could to show my appreciation and help her out because she's my friend, but sometimes she has a hard time getting around due to her condition: I did several loads of laundry, I cleaned, I fed her pets, I cleaned her pet's cages, I swept the floor, I bought more than enough food for the time we'd be there, I even bought the beverages.

I guess that wasn't enough, since suddenly they started posting vicious aggressive statuses online (aimed towards me) and I was so taken aback and hurt that I burst out into tears and sobs while my boyfriend and I were at the store picking up some supplies. I had no idea what was going on, I was afraid to go back. I had no idea my friends would (or even could) ever treat me like that. I'm a pretty laid back person, if something's mentioned to me I have no problem making every effort to correct it! But it seemed like that wasn't what they wanted.

We drove back there and I had to spent another 30 minutes sobbing uncontrollably in my boyfriend's car before I could collect myself enough. If he hadn't been there for me, I might have drunk myself to death, I was that hurt. But I think what hurt the most was going into that place, gathering their stuff, still sobbing uncontrollably, and my friend not looking like she cared at all. What kind of friends do that? I asked myself.

I'm willing to bet both her and her boyfriend are posting aggressive statuses (possibly pictures too) about me on their Facebook. I thought about doing the same thing, but then I stopped and thought about it. I'm almost a full-grown adult. I work two jobs in the summer, and one during the school-year while I maintain almost a 4.0. I am no longer a teenager, I am 20 years old, and I need to start acting my age. I have fueled all my pain into my goal of bettering myself. If I made them feel that way, it either means I have failed myself at helping people I care about, or that I need to put my resources elsewhere.

If posting aggressive hateful messages about me will help my friend feel better about her own life, I have no problem with it. I only want her to be happy and healthy. Since she and her boyfriend are both somewhat disabled right now, they really don't have much else to entertain themselves with. I'd rather have her teaming up with her boyfriend at hating me, than if he were to put his aggression towards her. I would never stand for that. I would drive over there in a heartbeat and beat the shit out of him if he ever laid a finger on her. (Okay, realistically, I would call the cops to do that for me, but I would still be there for my friend.)

Life is too short to get caught up in petty little games. I guess that's what humans do, but I don't think I will ever know what it means to be human. I just don't know how to do it. I don't think I could even hate another person to the point of intentionally physically or emotionally harming them. I have no interest in doing that. I only want the freedom to love my little heart out, make myself vulnerable, and to not be harmed by the people I love.

I have put my best effort forth to write my entire post without putting anything possibly hurtful towards my friends. I don't want to do that at all. I have better things to consume my time and energy. I have a family that I need to support, pets that need care and attention, and a boyfriend to love. I really wish there was some way I could thank Mr.Beardly for everything he has done for me. He has never raised a hand to me or made me feel bad about myself. He is truly the most amazing man I have ever met, and I'm going to do everything I can to make myself the woman such a wonderful man deserves. Even if I am a woman worthy of his love, it will still be some time before I become a woman worthy of my own respect. I will continue to grow and mature until this budding flower has fully blossomed into the beautiful, kind-hearted woman I have always wanted to become.

MRS degree?

Recently, I've been feeling some strange biological desires. Well, actually it's quite a natural desire, but it's strange because I never expected to feel them, especially at the ripe young age of 20.

I want to be a wife. 

It seems like to many girls around my age are getting engaged or married! I can't help but feel jealous; one of my top desires is to get married and become a wife. That's probably one of the reasons my first boyfriend broke up with me. We'd dated for 3 years and I was totally ready to settle down, but he wasn't ready to give up his childhood yet. Just a difference in mentalities.

This is, however, something that is worrying me about my current boyfriend. I'm afraid to mention anything because I don't want him to feel any pressure or frustration about my secret desires. Yes, I hope to get married someday. I'd love to be a faithful wife. I want to do laundry, cook dinners, and be there to welcome my husband home. However, I know relationships like that take time, and sometimes they never end up like that at all. I'm enjoying my relationship with my boyfriend as it is right now, and sure, I think someday if things ended up like that, I'd probably be very happy. But things take time. I'm a patient girl. I waited over 10 years to get treatment for severe depression. I have rock-solid willpower.

Now, this leads me to my next secret desire....


I want to be a mommy.

I want a baby. Another thing I have noticed is that of the girls I know that are married, many are having children. There are even a few girls who have babies as single parents. One girl I vaguely know in particular has a baby with the same name as my ex-boyfriend. She acts like she's not ready to be a parent though, still wanting to party and act like the typical young adult.

I, on the other hand, would LOVE a little baby. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been happier if I had ended up a pregnant teenager (hey, abstinence is only 99.99999% effective......). I think about it though, and that would not have been fair to my potential child. When I finally become a mother, I want to be as ready as possible. That means emotionally, mentally, and financially. I want to have as many resources as possible so I can aid my child in their process to becoming his or her own person!

If my baby ends up becoming a republican, a super die-hard christian, atheist, bisexual, transgendered, paraplegic, mentally handicapped, blind, bad at math, or anything else - It might make life for me or my child more difficult, but I will always love him or her unconditionally, no matter what.

For the time being, I am making due my treating my pets with my overwhelming need to give affection and care to another living being. I talk to my fish like he is my fish-child.

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There you have it. Those are the two more normal of my weird biological desires. There is a third one though... but I'm a bit embarrassed to share it because it proves how weird I am (I might mention it in a later post). And these days, I have no idea who reads my blog. Random strangers, I'm fine with. But I have no idea if anyone I actually know reads these (Other than Flower and occasionally Lee.) So, if you read this, give me a comment? Tell me what your overall impression of me is.