Nothing Left to Lose: How to not fuck up your relationship

Love can be a terrifying and beautiful thing. When you find that one amazing person that makes your life so much better, that shares such happy memories with you, that you'd do anything for; it's a wonderful experience. The pain of losing a person like that is just as painful.

One thing I've learned about love, in my 3 years of experience with the Kaab, is that there are certain things concerning it that you have to be careful about. I'm just going to go through a short list of what were the top ones for me, but another's experience might be different.

Forgiveness is absolutely necessary

I dont think we would have made it this far if we hadn't worked together to solve issues, and forgiven each other for silly things. Even bigger things, sometimes it's harder, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive the other person, it can be wonderful for strengthening a relationship, as long as both partners are working together.

Insecurity, Jealousy, Naivety can lead you to cause pain to your significant other

I was so afraid of losing him a month ago. I became really paranoid and insecure. I cried almost nightly because I didn't understand what was going on and my heart was freaking out. He was acting differently and distant and that just made me become some crazy insane girl that needed to call him constantly, beg for reassurances, wanting to keep our relationship the way it was. Life is not static, and I know that now. Which leads to my second point.

Always keep an open mind; acceptance is the key to a good relationship.

So the Mr. finally revealed to me what the big secret was, and I freaked out because I still didn't quite understand it. I didn't understand what was going on, and I didn't understand how he could lie to me for a year about it. I felt so hurt. And because of that, I lashed back at him, unintentionally. My heart was just a quivering mess, so it just kept freaking out, trying to cling onto him, yet at the same time push him away. Even over after a week of the incident, I was still poking at his soft spot about it. I had turned into a supreme bitch. So now I find I'm no longer as hurt or surprised that he told me so plainly that he no loner felt the same way about me anymore. He said he had changed. And even when he said that, my heart was still so scared that it just kept denying and denying that he had changed. Had I been a better partner, I would have accepted him no matter what and not caused him this pain, especially during such a rough time in his life. What a fool I've been.

But not anymore.

Since I've finally taken a step back from my relationship and seen these things for myself, I realize what a terrible person I've become. This boy may be changing, maybe becoming more of a jerk, maybe just becoming different. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't care how many times he changes, he will always be the boy my heart chose to devote itself to, and every time he changes it just makes me want to get to know him better and fall in love with him all over again. He's probably past ever having feelings for me again, but I still have to try. I have to apologize and see if I can get through to him.

I have nothing left to lose.